blanking

I'm supposed to be writing a proposal for my documentary class. I am stressing out about the whole process. What do I want to write about/photograph? I'm not quite sure. I know what my interests are but I feel like I need to do something different...

Why do transgender issues always pop into my head first? It always intrigues me. I don't have any issue with my assigned sex. I am female... I may not fit the stereotypes and gender roles for women but I am very comfortable in my skin.

oi

Vent

I ran two miles as quickly as my legs could go watching the muscles flex in the mirror. Music would make everything better but I sold my Ipod over a year ago. Christmas didn’t produce one this year but that’s not so important. Im sure that I finished quicker than the last time I did it. I get some water and then do the stairs. I really should be working out more often.

I left the gym without a cool down. Walking into the locker room the first thing I did was look in the mirror and fix my headband. My face is dewy and flushed, looks like I actually did something. I’m always amused when my skin turns red since Im darker complected. I just feel so warm. Working out is definitely beneficial to my anxiety but my heart was still going. I opened my locker and got out my hoodie and cell phone. No text messages. I really am too attached to my cell phone and am somewhat surprised I am able to leave it in the locker to begin with.

Back outside into the cold. The brisk air feels good on my face. I sort of wish I could just run home, just keep running. The reality is that I would probably freeze once my body cools down and my sweat is slick against my body. Run run run… My thoughts are running that’s for sure. :sigh: As I walk to my car I call my girlfriend. I know she is busy but her voice is all I need sometimes. Spontaneity makes me ask her if I can stop by but as soon as the words come out of my mouth I know its not really an option. She has a lot of work to do.

I sat outside in my car trying to settle down. Energy drinks definitely don’t help a pacing heart. I had one earlier today and Im pretty sure that contributed to my stress. Breathe in, breathe out. I am extremely uncomfortable with feeling so unbalanced. I want to be a strong person that has total control of my feelings.

This was typed in Microsoft Word because my internet is being weird. On a lighter note….MW tells me I use a lot of passive voice but I really don’t care. I cannot write well but I attempt to now and then. It atleast makes me feel better.

Stilettos

Our first project in Location Studio has to do with being forced to use a certain area and work with the lighting situation.

He is making us take pictures in and outside of the Polack building. It's not the prettiest building and our class is late in the day and it can be hit or miss.

These are two shots I took of my friends shoes while waiting my turn. I really like how they came out.

What do you think?

Horoscope

I get an urge now and then to look at my horoscope and see if it applies.

todays from astrology.com
Are you worried about a friend or family member but afraid to say something because you fear they will get defensive? Have more faith in them -- they are waiting for someone to reach out to them. So get some quiet alone time with them today and share all your concerns. You know that preaching will not get you anywhere with them, so just state what you think and ask them what they have to say about it. This is the best way to start a very productive conversation.

It makes me think about how I need to talk to a close friend and clear some things up. Hmmm.

mine for tomorrow, astrology.com
A new friend is starting to take on a much larger role in your life -- their influence is good, and it's necessary. They have a brand of strength that you should try to integrate into your own life. You should welcome the opportunity to talk with them today. The two of you are ready to take things to a deeper level, and maybe even become real confidantes. It's unusual to have such a diverse group of friends in your life, so you should embrace and make the most of it!

hmmmmmm interesttttiinggg :)

Inauguration

What a great day not to go to class. My first class was cancelled and my other teacher posted that she will not be taking attendance. I was pretty much going to skip anyway so I'm glad they decided anyway.

I'm watching the events leading up to the inauguration on CNN.com. It is pretty exciting. I may go on campus and hang out in the Commons because they are broadcasting everything live. It may be a good photo opportunity depending on how many people are there.

Very jealous of all the people who happened to make it to the event. It must be an amazing event. My girlfriend's sister headed out to the mall last night! She must be stoked. There are so many people out there. Such an amazing event.

My parents are republican, boo. My mom is like, why would they cancel class? Im like....the inauguration... JMU cancelled classes. Classes for public schools were cancelled in Virginia Beach for...snow? Lol. Mom says she hasn't seen one flake.

Change is good. I look forward to what Obama has in store for the U.S.

Jack-Jack

This is the kitten I adopted. I met up with Karen at the Petco and he was as cute as I imagined.

When Ebony and I first got to the Petco I was afraid that she wouldn't show for some reason. We were walking around looking at the birds and I started to get anxious. We looked at the miserable kitties at the front. I felt bad that they were in boxed cages. :(

Karen came in and asked if we were waiting on a kittie. So we went out and Jack-Jack was in a carrier. He looked very scared but as adorable as ever. We went inside of Petco to see if they had any cardboard carriers so I could take him home safely. I was thinking that Ebony could hold him in the car but he was way too scared.

We ended up getting the only size box they had left. It definitely says something on the side about rodents, so it wasn't meant for a cat. Karen had a towel that was in his crate so we folded it up and put it inside so he would feel safe. She took him out of his carrier and put him in the box. He was very frightened.

Afterwards we went to my best friends house. I was planning just to put him in a bathroom because Karen suggested that. But Heather said I should just let him out in the pool room. As soon as I let him out he climbed their curtains... I wanted to get curtains but now Ill pass I think. Lol. So I had to get him down and the scratching began.

He scurried around the room, with his tail straight back and puffy. It was really pitiful. Most of the time he hid in a corner. We tried to coax him out with a toy but he wasn't having it. We ended up putting him in the bathroom afterall hoping he would relax. Everytime I went in there he would hiss at me.

:(

I took him home after that and showed my roommates. They approved. I set up his litter box and food in the laundry room and put his little towel in a short basket I had laying around. I put him in the basket and he kinda just stared at me for a while. I tried to pick him up and he scratched the hell out of my arm. All I wanted to do was show him where the food and litter was. He figured it out by himself.

So this is his third day in my apt. He went from hiding in the laundry room corner to occasionally appearing out in my room to explore. He still hisses at me when I get close but Ive been able to play with him a little bit if I sit at a distance.

Kitten

I have been looking on Craigslist and asking around for a while for a kitten. I want to make sure its the right one, right price etc. I stumbled upon this cutie. They refer to him as "friendly boy". He has several other brothers and sisters. I think its so the foster family doesn't get too attached.

I contacted his foster family and she said that there were no adoption fees. Perfect! Instead of spending 65 at animal control or 115 at the SPCA I can get one for free. I just went to Petsmart and spent like 40 bucks. I feel like that about equals out to a good deal.

I got him a collar, litter box and accessories, kitty bowl, kitty mat and some food of course.

Im meeting up with the lady on Sunday to meet him. Im sure he is just perfect. All I have to do now is think of a name and then get him id tags.

:) Yay.